Today is yet another migraine day. It started at 2am or thereabouts. I took the sumatriptan and managed to get back to sleep. At 6:30 it was still there, more sumatriptan but wide awake wee people means sleep is not an option.
This is the fourth migraine in the last week. I know that it’s hormonal – it’s the 3 month anniversary of Elisa joining us so my hormones are a total train wreck at the moment. But knowing the cause does not make them hurt less. It also doesn’t make it easier to deal with the accompanying fuzzy feeling, the lack of hand-eye coordination and the underlying terror that somehow my brain being out of action will lead to one or both of my children being hurt.
How could I hurt my kids? Consider these possible scenarios – How much formula did I add to the water? Walking through a doorway with a baby and missing the opening. Carrying children up stairs and missing a step. Not seeing a car on the road because of blind spots. Not being able to react fast enough to catch a toddler. Even once the pain has gone thanks to the drugs, the general brain wrapped in cotton wool effects will linger.
So today we do as little as possible. Cancelled my planned shopping trip. Cancelled hot lunch plans and cancelled playground trip plans. The goal today is simply to get through until Papa can get home from work.